The Difficulties of Public Muslim-ness AND On the Matter of Love & Marriage: A Post in Two Parts

I have two matters troubling me of late, so its time for a double post!

The Difficulties of Public Muslim-ness

I have been trying to slowly integrate Muslim rituals into my daily life in order to see if I can get comfortable with the practices. In private, its been remarkably easy: I love wudhu (so refreshing!), I'm learning to say the Opening surah in Arabic (beautiful - at least when other people say it), and although I'm not praying salat yet, I am praying informally throughout the day, which has been a subtly powerful experience. The problems for me seem to arise outside the home... primarily at work.

I'm not going to go into detail about what I do for a living. Its retail and I hate it, and I'm going to leave it at that. The women's bathroom has a sink and two stalls. The stalls have latches, the door to the bathroom doesn't. It is used by employees and customers alike and its usually pretty busy in there... lots of people coming and going while a person is at the sink. I try to do wudhu as fast as I possibly can, but it feels like I'm being sneaky and it certainly doesn't make me feel very spiritual. Also, this bathroom is pretty gross - it doesn't get cleaned nearly enough for the amount of traffic it gets, despite multiple complaints. I REFUSE to take my shoes of in there to wash my feet. Even if I had guaranteed privacy, there is no way I would feel clean afterwards. Performing ablutions at home only helps a little; I work 8 hour days, sometimes more... sooner or later nature calls. The other problem is finding a place to prostrate. There are no private areas at work. The best I could do is to find a corner of the parking lot thats slightly obscured and hope it doesn't rain.

I just don't feel ready to be "out", so to speak. I'm still trying to figure out if Islam is right for me, but I feel I have to try living as a Muslim to know that. Even if I was ready, I don't think my religion should be a public display. For those who would advise that I find a different job - believe me, I would if I could. The economy sucks right now, and I'm making more than average for a retail job. Until I finish school, my prospects are pretty sad. I'm really not sure what to do.

On the Matter of Love & Marriage

This is going to be a bit more personal (so try to remember my life has been pretty non-religious until recently - and don't get all judge-y). I recently read a thread on Free-Minds.Org about Islam's stand on premarital sex and it got me thinking. I want to know: how is marriage defined in Islam? Is a couple considered married if they are legally married by the state? Is a couple considered married if they meet some other standard, even if they don't get legally married? Is marriage about paperwork, or about the promises exchanged between two people?

I have a boyfriend. We've been together nearly 7 years. We lived separately for the first couple years, then I started staying at his place about half the time, and the last 3-4 years we've lived together. And yes, we've been sexually intimate for the vast majority of the relationship. We've also been faithful companions to each other, supporting each other through hard times and enjoying each other in good times. We've talked about getting married... I guess both of us just have trouble seeing how it would change things. We both have divorced parents and have seen friends and family jump into loveless marriages - the act of marriage didn't improve things for them. And on a practical level, marriage is not cheap! Finally, a long time ago I promised my mother I would finish college before I got married... neither of us predicted it would take me this long to get through school, but I try to keep my promises.

I guess I feel that in the ways that matter, he is already my husband. We've exchanged promises about our lives together and our future, we've got dozens of friends and family who have witnessed our devotion, and we've outlasted several actual marriages. He's part of my family and I'm part of his. I can't believe that the life we've had together - sex and all - is a bad thing. But would it be considered bad in Islam? Thats what I hope to find out.

On the Matter of My Nom de Plume

I chose the name Sophia when I was reading about people taking "Muslim" names when they convert. There's a lot of debate on whether such a thing is necessary, on whether it has to be an Arab name or not, etc. My opinion is that it's not needed, but it might be beneficial. I also don't think it has to be from any particular nationality. I decided that IF I converted and IF I wanted a name to reflect that, it would be Sophia - thus the name of the blog. I read the Bible a long time ago because I was curious, and Proverbs chapter 8 caught my eye. It refers to a personification of wisdom, but some translations simply use the Greek word for wisdom: Sophia. Thus the title of this blog, Theosophia, literally means "god-wisdom".

I'm reading a fascinating book right now; No God but God: The Origins, Evolution, and Future of Islam by Reza Aslan. I hope to write more on this book, but there was a section I read recently that just about made my heart skip a beat:

"Others have suggested that Sufi is a corruption of the Greek word sophia: "wisdom". This is also unlikely, though there is a tempting symbolic connection between the two words. For if sophia is to be understood in its Aristotelian sense as "knowledge of ultimate things," then it is very much related to the term Sufi, just not linguistically."

How 'bout that! I definitely want to study more about Sufism, but I have been trying to ground myself in "the basics" of Islam first. I feel kinda bad... I have read half a dozen books about Islam in the past two months, and I still haven't finished the Quran! Part of the problem is I just bounced around reading whatever section caught my attention, then researching the meaning and history behind certain difficult verses, taking some notes, and bouncing around some more. I decided a few weeks ago to start over from the beginning to make sure I don't miss anything... and I'm only 1/4 of the way through! Oh well, after I finish the book I'm on I'll pick up where I left off... at least now I'm keeping track.

A Random Poem

Lord of my heart, teach me how best to love you

To praise you with each heartbeat, with each breath that leaves my lips

Beloved, let me be the moon that glows in your sunlight

Fill me with your light, show me what I am

I wander in darkness, ignorant, the whole Earth between us

I would wander forever, dreaming of You

Technical Difficulties

Ok, so it seems blogger has made some changes to comment moderation, and for some weird reason this means that I am unable to post comments on my own blog! I don't know if it is affecting other people who leave comments or just me. I reported the problem to blogger yesterday... hopefully they will eventually get back to me. Until then, please don't take it personally if I don't respond to comments immediately.

Also (because apparently it bears repeating) - absolutely no anonymous comments will be published on this blog. In order to avoid confusion, those who wish to leave comments will need to put a name on their comment so readers can identify who's who. For now, I will manually reject any comments left anonymously and they will never be read. If needed I will simply eliminate the option altogether, but I thought I'd be nice to those people who don't want to create a google account just to leave a comment.

On a completely different note: Good luck to those of you fasting for Ramadan! I hope you all have a blessed month!

The Bhagavad Gita

The Setting

Two great households, the Pandavas and the Kauravas, are royal cousins that grew up together. Through wickedness and greed Duryodhada of the Kauravas exiled the Pandavas and took the kingdom for his own. Now Arjuna of the Pandavas, the hero of this tale, must face his own kin in a bloody war. On the battlefield with his family behind him and before him, he falls to his knees in despair. His charioteer is Krishna, who offered to be counselor for Arjuna but would not take up arms. Krishna counsels Arjuna, and in the process tells Arjuna of the nature of God, of himself, and the various paths to liberation. For Krishna is far more than he appears...

Hindu Monotheism

I enjoyed this book immensely, as well as the commentaries. Part of the introduction really caught my attention.

"From the earliest times, Hinduism has proclaimed one God while accommodating worship of him (or her, for to millions God is the Divine Mother) in many different names. 'Truth is one,' says a famous verse of the Rig Veda; 'people call it by various names.' Monastic devotees might find that Shiva embodies the austere detachment they seek; devotees who want to live 'in the world,' partaking of its innocent pleasures but devoted to service of their fellow creatures, might find in Krishna the perfect incarnation of their ideals. In every case, this clothing of the Infinite in human form serves to focus a devotee's love and to provide an inspiring ideal. But whatever form is worshipped, it is only an aspect of the same one God." Hindu monotheism - who knew? I suppose an argument could be made that this is really an example of henotheism or panentheism, but at its core this belief seems to be that God is not limited to one form or one act of devotion, but all of us worship the same limitless Diety.

What IS detachment?

Anyone loosely familiar with Buddhism has heard the word "detachment". It brings to mind the image of an austere monk meditating alone... not what the average person aspires to. Again I will quote from the commentaries: "It [the Bhagavad Gita] teaches that we can become free by giving up not material things, but selfish attachments to material things - and more importantly, to people. It asks us to renounce not the enjoyment of life, but the clinging to selfish enjoyment whatever it may cost others. It pleads, in a word, for the renunciation of selfishness in thought, word, and action - a theme that is common to all mystics, West and East alike."

As Krishna puts it:

"One who shirks action does not attain freedom; no one can gain perfection by abstaining from work. Indeed, there is no one who rests for even an instant; all creastures are driven to action by their own nature."

...

"Actions do not cling to me because I am not attached to their results. Those who understand this and practice it live in freedom. Knowing this truth, aspirants desiring liberation in ancient times engaged in action. You too can do the same, pursuing an active life in the manner of those ancient sages."

Renunciation or detachment doesn't mean hiding from the world or one's own emotions, it means recognizing them as transient things and existing beyond them. Pain and pleasure, sorrow and joy, are just the result of outside stimuli and cannot touch the soul. One can watch these dualities as if watching a dance or a play, enjoying the show while not being fundamentally shaken by it. Krishna again:

"They live in freedom who have gone beyond the dualities of life. Competing with no one, they are alike in success and failure and content with whatever comes to them. They are free, without selfish attachments; their minds are fixed in knowledge. They perform all work in the spirit of service, and their karma is dissolved."

What does it all mean?

In short, I don't know. I think I could spend my life reading this book and only scratch the surface. The book comprises of everything from practical meditation tips and down-to-earth advise to hinting at the mystery of the cosmos. The underlying themes include; that God is one, even when it seems otherwise; that God loves us; that anyone with the genuine desire can attain closeness to God; that the spark of God exists in and beyond everything. That doesn't mean worshipping idols, just recognizing the miracle of God's creation.

"Arjuna, I am the taste of pure water and the radiance of the sun and moon. I am the sacred word and the sound heard in air, and the courage of human beings. I am the sweet fragrance in the earth and the radiance of fire; I am the life in every creature and the striving of the spiritual aspirant."

In this tale Krishna is no mere man, he is a manifestation of God in a form easier for human minds to handle. At one point in the Gita Arjuna asks to see God's true form. Krishna removes the layers of illusion that surround him and shows his true form to Arjuna... it is a form so beautiful and terrifying that Arjuna cannot continue describing it, and begs God to return to the comforting form of Krishna.

The Bhagavad Gita does acknowledge that souls who do good with go to heaven, and souls that do evil go to hell - punished or beloved by whatever deities they worshipped in life... but after their deeds are rewarded or repaid they are reborn again to make another attempt at learning of their true nature and the nature of God. Only those who leave the cycle of rebirth can become one with God. What is interesting to note here is this doesn't mean worshiping a Hindu deity, it can be whatever form of God the aspirant feels the most love for - it is all the same God. The book outlines in broad strokes several paths to God (or enlightenment), and while it favors some methods over others it still contends that all paths lead (eventually) to God.

I really enjoyed this book, and I think its message is fairly universal. I am not quite done posting on this topic, but I am out of time for today. I find a lot of technical stuff varies greatly from the teachings of the Quran, but a few similarities did catch my eye. I am hoping to compare and contrast some verses of the Quran with some from the Bhagavad Gita in a future post. Readers, please suggest any quotes from the Quran (or other religious texts) that you feel would be appropriate.

Free Sakineh

I heard about this the other day and I feel compelled to help spread the word. From FreeSakineh.Org:

Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani, Iranian Mother, could be put to death at any moment

August 9: Fate of Sakineh to be handed down this week – hanging likely; President Lula’s offer of amnesty flatly refused by Iranian leadership.

Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani, a 43 year old mother of two, was convicted in May 2006 of having an “illicit relationship” with two men and received 99 lashes as her sentence. Despite already having been punished, she has now been further convicted of “adultery” and she and sentenced to death by stoning.

She is currently being held on death row in Tabriz Prison, north-west Iran, and faces imminent execution. Around July 7th , following international protests, officials in Tabriz asked the head of Iran’s judiciary to agree that her sentence of stoning to death be converted to execution by hanging.

On 10 July, the head of Iran’s High Council for Human Rights said that her case would be reviewed, although he affirmed that Iranian law permits execution by stoning.

On 14 July Sajjad Qaderzadeh, Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani’s son, was summoned to Tabriz’s Central Prison, and is believed to have been questioned by Ministry of Intelligence officials who possibly threatened him not to give further interviews about his mother’s case.

It is clear Sakineh remains ingrave risk… PLEASE sign this petition which calls on the Iranian authorities to clarify her current legal status, demands that the authorities enact legislation that bans stoning as a legal punishment, and eliminates other forms of the death penalty for “adultery” such as fogging or imprisonment.

As of my signature, they have over 160,000 signatures. Will it be enough to spare her life? Perhaps not, but in the words of Edmund Burke, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing".